I hope you all have a safe and happy New Year!
I've been wanting to try something new so I guess this is the launch! I am started a YouTube page (www.youtube.com/outsidebutinporn) and will be posting the videos on my blog. The comments will be disabled on the YouTube site in order to ensure lack of confusion for myself :) If you would like to comment on any videos, please do so on the blog or as always, send me an e-mail to outsidebutinporn@gmail.com.
The way I see it, there will be three different 'types' of videos. The first type will be answering questions that readers/viewers have. Not all questions will be answered via video; only if I feel it's more conducive depending on the answer. The second type of video will incorporate a "series" of videos about a specific topic. There may be 3, 4, 5 videos all commenting on different aspects of a topic. I would love suggestions for topics! The third possible type of video will be on current events. As before, I will only do a current event video if it is more conducive to be in video format.
I don't want these videos to take place of the blog, just add to it :)
I look forward to hearing your thoughts.
The interview below is a small portion of an interview between a porn star named Haley and a guy named Snowman. Please read it before viewing the video. I felt it related somewhat to the questions I am answering.
This interview is picking up where Snowman is asking Haley what advice she has for girls wanting to do porn. She starts talking about how girls shouldn’t start “doing it all” at once because once you start, it’s hard to stop:
“Snowman: Oh its like a sloping, sloping problem. Slippery slope.
Haley: Yeah. You just get immune. You kinda get I guess you’d say immune to how far you’ll go. Like there’s no limit once you’ve tried everything and I just had to really step back and take a look at what I was doing. And you know, I cut off the DPs and now I’m sticking mostly to boy girl.
Snowman: And why did you initially just limit yourself to girl-girl?
Haley: Ummm, I actually didn’t think that I was ready, because honestly when I first started doing the solo stuff I’d go home crying. You know?
Snowman: Seriously? I mean what, how come? Especially if it was just solo?
Haley: Well, it’s just everything that my mother ever told me not to do you know? And I felt bad. I was like, what if my parents find out? What are they going to think of me? Stuff like that but I realized, you know, it’s a living.
Snowman: I mean that’s terrible though. I mean, if it made you feel that bad though.
Haley: Well I got over it though. Because, I really thought about it, and you know, I ... my parents aren’t rich by any means, you know. And I have to look out for myself and I can’t always live my life for someone else. And the thing is, I did enjoy being in front of the camera because I felt sexy. You know, and just the fact that people wanted to see my naked just gave me so much confidence.”
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Christmas and Tiger Woods
Merry Christmas, every one !! :) I hope you all are experiencing wonderful memories with your loved ones.
Holidays are always such a big ball of confusing JOY for Damien and I ;) Every year, we've experienced something new.
Usually, we either stay with very good friends of ours (basically family) and their 4 kids or we head to Delaware to stay with Damien's mom, step dad, and two of his siblings. We weren't married our first Christmas together and about a week before Christmas, we went up to Delaware for me to officially meet his mom's family. You could've cut the tension at that first dinner with a knife!! It was extreeeeemely awkward and I knew I was there because Damien's mom wanted to see her son. By the end of the week, she had gotten to know me a little better and it was just the beginning of the wonderful relationship we share today. We went home before Christmas (so that we weren't there when the rest of the family arrived), and spent it with our new adopted family.
Our third Christmas (last year), we went up to Delaware again....this time for Christmas day and spent it for the very first time with his ENTIRE immediate family as well as much of his extended family through his mom's side. At the end of that week, we also went to a family reunion for his dad's side, where I met pretty much his entire extended family (his dad has 8 siblings so it was a LOT of people!).
This Christmas was very different. Our dear friends (with the 4 kids) moved 9 hours north and we didn't go to Delaware. So it was our first Christmas in our home together. My sister joined us Christmas morning and that afternoon we were invited over Damien's dad's house for a family photo. This was the first Christmas we've ever been invited over. Much like our other family gatherings, there's still some 'sticky' relationships. We didn't know what to expect. It ended up being a very lovely time and stayed for a majority of the evening. Damien's sisters were there as well as his step mom's side of the family.
Over these past few Christmases, it's been an amazing pleasure to meet his family. It's always a very humbling experience and the hospitality that has been shown is more appreciated than I think they'll ever know. God's grace abounds and it never fails to amaze me more and more.
On Christmas Eve, Damien and I were enjoying an amazing lasagna prepared by Sal's Express Italian Bistro! And we both wondered how Mr. Woods was spending his Christmas. Many of you have asked my thoughts on Tiger's situation and a few of you are quite vocal about it yourself. I have read all of your thoughts.
At this point there's a lot of speculation, but I'll share my thoughts. I think Tiger has dealt well as far as the media is concerned. So far, he's said and done the 'right' things. I just hope his responses are genuine, and that he is actually using this time to 'soul search'.
As far as these women 'coming out', I do think their motives are questionable. Most likely the price tag is worth their own financial gain over Tiger's expense. Many are enraged over this, however, these women are responsible for their own actions. Just as is Tiger. The girls might not be doing what's right but Tiger essentially trusted them with his reputation by sleeping with them. I will say it IS a shame to see their ignorance of not knowing exactly what's being communicated. One girl is saying she wanted to come out to let people know that she really is a good person, was raised 'Christian', and that she doesn't owe Tiger's wife an apology. Another wore a cross around her neck during an interview with the Today Show. I've experienced first hand proclaiming to be a Christian and then coming out with a nude website and have seen a very SMALL percentage of the confusion that puts in the minds of viewers. It shows me that the girls, themselves, are very misinformed, as I was.
My big question is who is going to be the strong 'voice' in Tiger's life. The celebrity world is very different- I can only IMAGINE the deception that seems like truth to some people. Especially with Tiger's celebrity caliber, he's so used to people being 'yes men'. Who in his life has the ability to sit him down and talk reality and truth? I just truly pray he has someone like that, let alone a 'support' system. I pray that for his wife as well. That God is providing people in her life that can help her sift through all the media and fame...to view her husband as a man that's messed up and deal with him alone.
Holidays are always such a big ball of confusing JOY for Damien and I ;) Every year, we've experienced something new.
Usually, we either stay with very good friends of ours (basically family) and their 4 kids or we head to Delaware to stay with Damien's mom, step dad, and two of his siblings. We weren't married our first Christmas together and about a week before Christmas, we went up to Delaware for me to officially meet his mom's family. You could've cut the tension at that first dinner with a knife!! It was extreeeeemely awkward and I knew I was there because Damien's mom wanted to see her son. By the end of the week, she had gotten to know me a little better and it was just the beginning of the wonderful relationship we share today. We went home before Christmas (so that we weren't there when the rest of the family arrived), and spent it with our new adopted family.
Our third Christmas (last year), we went up to Delaware again....this time for Christmas day and spent it for the very first time with his ENTIRE immediate family as well as much of his extended family through his mom's side. At the end of that week, we also went to a family reunion for his dad's side, where I met pretty much his entire extended family (his dad has 8 siblings so it was a LOT of people!).
This Christmas was very different. Our dear friends (with the 4 kids) moved 9 hours north and we didn't go to Delaware. So it was our first Christmas in our home together. My sister joined us Christmas morning and that afternoon we were invited over Damien's dad's house for a family photo. This was the first Christmas we've ever been invited over. Much like our other family gatherings, there's still some 'sticky' relationships. We didn't know what to expect. It ended up being a very lovely time and stayed for a majority of the evening. Damien's sisters were there as well as his step mom's side of the family.
Over these past few Christmases, it's been an amazing pleasure to meet his family. It's always a very humbling experience and the hospitality that has been shown is more appreciated than I think they'll ever know. God's grace abounds and it never fails to amaze me more and more.
On Christmas Eve, Damien and I were enjoying an amazing lasagna prepared by Sal's Express Italian Bistro! And we both wondered how Mr. Woods was spending his Christmas. Many of you have asked my thoughts on Tiger's situation and a few of you are quite vocal about it yourself. I have read all of your thoughts.
At this point there's a lot of speculation, but I'll share my thoughts. I think Tiger has dealt well as far as the media is concerned. So far, he's said and done the 'right' things. I just hope his responses are genuine, and that he is actually using this time to 'soul search'.
As far as these women 'coming out', I do think their motives are questionable. Most likely the price tag is worth their own financial gain over Tiger's expense. Many are enraged over this, however, these women are responsible for their own actions. Just as is Tiger. The girls might not be doing what's right but Tiger essentially trusted them with his reputation by sleeping with them. I will say it IS a shame to see their ignorance of not knowing exactly what's being communicated. One girl is saying she wanted to come out to let people know that she really is a good person, was raised 'Christian', and that she doesn't owe Tiger's wife an apology. Another wore a cross around her neck during an interview with the Today Show. I've experienced first hand proclaiming to be a Christian and then coming out with a nude website and have seen a very SMALL percentage of the confusion that puts in the minds of viewers. It shows me that the girls, themselves, are very misinformed, as I was.
My big question is who is going to be the strong 'voice' in Tiger's life. The celebrity world is very different- I can only IMAGINE the deception that seems like truth to some people. Especially with Tiger's celebrity caliber, he's so used to people being 'yes men'. Who in his life has the ability to sit him down and talk reality and truth? I just truly pray he has someone like that, let alone a 'support' system. I pray that for his wife as well. That God is providing people in her life that can help her sift through all the media and fame...to view her husband as a man that's messed up and deal with him alone.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
All Men Watch Porn
...at least that's what this article states after doing a study at the University of Montreal. The article takes but a few minutes to read but in a nutshell, tells how this University's study took a surprising turn when there was no answer to a call for men in their 20's who had not been users of pornography. Because of this, the study focused on those who had been exposed since, well, that seemed to be the only option.
I find this study very intriguing. #1- Based solely on my own person feeling, I have always felt that the percentages of men who watch pornography always seem too low. #2 - Was this part of the article:
“Pornography hasn't changed their perception of women or their relationship, which they all want to be as harmonious and fulfilling as possible,” the professor added."
I'm assuming the professor got this information just by asking the subjects their thoughts on women and relationships? I'm wondering how accurate a response could be to such a question. I have found after going through therapy with Damien and after talking with men about their pornography use, that they don't truly see how pornography has affected them until they're willing to or if they have some reason to think long and hard about it. I would dare to say most men don't think twice about how watching pornography affects them and I've heard them say countless times, "it's just natural to look at it"....so why would they even open their mind to think otherwise?
I 100% agree with this article, that those men truly believe their views on women are not skewed and that they want "to be as harmonious and fulfilling as possible"in their relationships. Who wouldn't want that??
But is it possible to have that...........when you're spending an average of 20-40 minutes, 2-3 times per week with multiple women and no body else but you knows about it?
Harmonious?....even though it takes two to have harmony and...Fulfilling?...even though it just seems like it's filling a void.....
it's all very intriguing....
thoughts?
I find this study very intriguing. #1- Based solely on my own person feeling, I have always felt that the percentages of men who watch pornography always seem too low. #2 - Was this part of the article:
“Pornography hasn't changed their perception of women or their relationship, which they all want to be as harmonious and fulfilling as possible,” the professor added."
I'm assuming the professor got this information just by asking the subjects their thoughts on women and relationships? I'm wondering how accurate a response could be to such a question. I have found after going through therapy with Damien and after talking with men about their pornography use, that they don't truly see how pornography has affected them until they're willing to or if they have some reason to think long and hard about it. I would dare to say most men don't think twice about how watching pornography affects them and I've heard them say countless times, "it's just natural to look at it"....so why would they even open their mind to think otherwise?
I 100% agree with this article, that those men truly believe their views on women are not skewed and that they want "to be as harmonious and fulfilling as possible"in their relationships. Who wouldn't want that??
But is it possible to have that...........when you're spending an average of 20-40 minutes, 2-3 times per week with multiple women and no body else but you knows about it?
Harmonious?....even though it takes two to have harmony and...Fulfilling?...even though it just seems like it's filling a void.....
it's all very intriguing....
thoughts?
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
So, if it's not "porn" and it's not "family friendly".......what is it?!
I received an e-mail from a reader with a naked picture of Dawson from the website and stated that he did not think what I did was porn. He said "penetration and masturbation" are porn...and what I did was not that.
Aside from my perspectives and spiritual beliefs on what is or isn't porn, I think the definition of pornography can shed some light as well.
From Dictionary.com:
"obscene writings, drawings, photographs, or the like, esp. those having little or no artistic merit.......Sexually explicit pictures, writing, or other material whose primary purpose is to cause sexual arousal.........The presentation or production of this material."
As far as I can see, no where does it state there must be masturbation or penetration...if the Dawson site wasn't considered pornography or "sexually explicit photos", the FCC would have no problem putting the material on daytime television.
All this is really to lead to the main point of this post. A fellow friend shared this heartbreaking video with me.
Please tell me how this little boys excitement over pictures does not correlate with him being obviously sexually aroused as well as his curiosity to look and see what else is out there? How could penetration be the separation between what's pornography and what's just nude photos when they cause the same response from someone?!
Let's just say for a moment, let's just pretend.....that nude photos aren't 'pornography'.
.....if it's what leads my little boy to search for more of what he sees and acts like that...then it's still just as bad in my mind. Just think of the struggles and confusion this boy is going to face as he gets older and tries to learn how to love.
Aside from my perspectives and spiritual beliefs on what is or isn't porn, I think the definition of pornography can shed some light as well.
From Dictionary.com:
"obscene writings, drawings, photographs, or the like, esp. those having little or no artistic merit.......Sexually explicit pictures, writing, or other material whose primary purpose is to cause sexual arousal.........The presentation or production of this material."
As far as I can see, no where does it state there must be masturbation or penetration...if the Dawson site wasn't considered pornography or "sexually explicit photos", the FCC would have no problem putting the material on daytime television.
All this is really to lead to the main point of this post. A fellow friend shared this heartbreaking video with me.
Please tell me how this little boys excitement over pictures does not correlate with him being obviously sexually aroused as well as his curiosity to look and see what else is out there? How could penetration be the separation between what's pornography and what's just nude photos when they cause the same response from someone?!
Let's just say for a moment, let's just pretend.....that nude photos aren't 'pornography'.
.....if it's what leads my little boy to search for more of what he sees and acts like that...then it's still just as bad in my mind. Just think of the struggles and confusion this boy is going to face as he gets older and tries to learn how to love.
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