Well....Thank you to those who shared their thoughts on the anonymous comment.
I'm sitting here eating my 'protein pizza' (I'm on a health kick lately) and I'm thinking about how bizarre this whole "judgement" stuff is.
It's a mentality really...."I won't judge you if you don't judge me"........"I'm not one to judge".......when someone has an opinion about a situation, they're automatically 'judging'.
On the other side of the token, there's, "He/She deserves to be judged"...."If he/she didn't want to be judged, they should have thought twice about XYZ."
When is it okay to judge? Or is it never okay?
What's the different between judging someone......and expressing your beliefs because you truly care about that person and their situation?
Well...if you don't mind me sharing my two cents...since this is my blog after all:
If I were to answer that last question, I would say the only thing that's different is the motivation behind the judgement. I think expressing your beliefs because you truly care about someone and their situation essentially means you had to judge their situation in the first place.
However.
This, I feel, is appropriate when a) Your attitude is in the right place (through prayer) b) You know just about every detail of this person and their situation and/or c) that person has allowed you to give your opinion.
The misconception I think people miss is it's okay to judge, at the right time, with the right mind set/attitude. I do not see the value in judging someone if the person judging is currently practicing the same act or if their attitude is not right.
NOTE:
I said, "currently".
Is anyone out there wondering, "how can that girl proclaim what she proclaims and says what she says when she's been guilty of this and that and blah blah.."?
Well...if you would allow me to share my perspective, I will.
I had an affair with a married man.
He left his family for me.
I did a nude website.
While I'm at it, I lost my virginity when I was 14.
I've smoked pot.
I drank in middle and high school.
You get the idea.
I am not meaning to be flippant when I refer to such delicate, painful, and destructive acts in my life. I listed those things out because each one of those are acts that I have participated in. Each one of those things I eventually realized my destructive behavior and by the grace of God, was able to turn around and stop living that way. It wasn't all at the same time. There were many different phases.
Each one of those things, I can look someone in the eye and tell them,
"Here's why I wouldn't smoke pot"
"Here's why I wouldn't drink illegally"
"Here's why I would wait until I get married to have sex"
"Here's why I wouldn't suggest doing a nude website"
"Here's why I would stop seeing that married man"
It's because I've lived it, got hurt from it, learned form it, stopped living that way, turned my life around, and am 100% not participating in the act anymore.
Going through the experience of a nude website and learning about the role of porn in this world has heightened my senses to the every day messages being shoved down our throats. Not everyone has gone through my experience.......so why wouldn't I share?
Because it's not my place?
It's much more than that....it's my responsibility.
SO!
Going back to my point.....I think it's unfortunate people take judgement the wrong way when it can actually be meant for good. The Bible says to first be kind and forgiving to that person, pray before confronting them so that you, yourself, have the right attitude, to be careful, as well as not to judge if you're doing the same thing. (Ephesians 4:32, Galatians 6:1)
I also found this excerpt from one of my favorite resource sites: www.gotquestions.org:
"...one of the most often quoted scriptures is "Judge not, lest ye be judged" (Matthew 7:1 KJV). Taken out of context, the verse has been used to incorrectly justify never taking a stand on anything that would require a judgment to be made. Rather, the verse is referring to hypocritical, self-righteous, unfair kinds of judgment, especially where the confronter is guilty of the same sin as the one being confronted."
4 comments:
Justine,
Thank you kindly for sharing this with us. I do hope you enjoyed your cardboard...I mean protein pizza.
I agree, judgment is one of the most misunderstood topics in the Bible. People love to quote Matthew 7:1 (Do not Judge others...) but no one wants to quote verse 16 within the same chapter. It reads as follows: You will know them by their fruits. Grapes are not gathered from thorn bushes nor figs from thistles, are they? . So, we are to know them by their fruits, and those fruits include forgiveness, grace, love, and mercy. I am so glad Jesus looked at me and decided to give another chance...then another....then another.....then another........then an.......
But you are living that act. You married that married man. Just because you show remorse for those actions does not mean that you're not still engaging in them.
Anonymous...
You bring up a very, very good point. If I believe someone else shouldn't participate in something or as I said, I 'turned my life around' - how does it make sense I have peace with still being with Damien?
Well, this could be a very long and deep conversation but I will just reiterate what the Pastor that married us said. When we "realized" that we should have never continued with our relationship...when we shouldn't have been justifying our actions because of our love - we sought counsel of what to do. We had already been married. Someone in our family encouraged us to get an annulment. We went to speak with the pastor and what he told us was the following:
Damien chose to dishonor is first marriage and although he made some awful mistakes, it does not give him permission to now dishonor another marriage. For whatever reason, we didn't have this realization until after we were married. It may not seem 'fair', but God 'doesn't work sins out that way'. He changes lives through grace, forgiveness, and repentance (turning away from old sins). He doesn't expect you to be perfect, but he expects your heart to be in a different place this next time around.
Damien and I are not living the same lifestyle we were when we started our relationship and even in the first year of our marriage. We do not have the same motives in our heart or the same perspective. Just because we stayed married, does not mean our marriage is 'living in the act' we once were.
"Judge not, that you be not judged." In the era when this was written in this context, "to judge" specifically meant "to condemn." Jesus is literally saying, Do not condemn for fear you will be condemned. "Judging" in the sense it is often perceived today (i.e., taking a stand against another's actions) is not what he was referring to. The verse is often cited by people who hope to quell opposition but who do not understand the meaning of the words. Understanding the real meaning brings it into accord with other passages: For example, "God alone, who gave the law, is the Judge" refers to God's sole authority to pass spiritual judgment, while the verse "If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him" refers to our obligation to stand up for what is right against corporal actions. One is for judging (for God); the other is for evangelizing (for us).
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