Ahoy, mates! I feel as if I’ve been on a long voyage. I shall attempt to organize my thoughts as best as I can.
First off, I’m on vacation and it feels GOOD! I haven’t had more than 2-3 days off since last Christmas and nothing feels better than to be spending my time around family. For an entire week, we are celebrating a family reunion on Damien’s side. It’s such a blessing to have built the relationships up so much that this week is possible without feeling…..awkward? Well, there are still some awkward moments, but what I mean is, this really feels like family (awkward moments and all) – the kind you marry into under normal circumstances! Sometimes, I still have to pinch myself. I know it’s been 4 and a half years since Damien and I got married, but I never get over the overwhelming blessing and grace that welcomes me into his family.
What makes this visit even more meaningful is the fact that we’re expecting. Yep, okay, cough it up. You okay? Yes…we’re expecting. I am 6 months pregnant.
You: “So that’s where you’ve been!”
Me: “Well, I guess you can say that, yes. It most definitely has taken up a lot of my time and attention.”
I never wanted it to be an excuse, especially because being pregnant is hardly anything compared to what my life is going to be like when the baby arrives; but to make a long story short, this has been one of the most amazing and miraculous rides I’ve ever been on.
It’s amazing what a baby will do to a family. Like I was saying, 4 years ago, I never thought I’d be at Damien’s family reunion, 6 months pregnant, and everyone actually being excited about it! And as far as my family, some answered prayer has been unfolding as well. I see light at the end of the tunnel, as well as a possible family photo for an album.
To better accommodate the little one, we moved last month. It really feels like a new chapter is beginning in our lives. Of course, one of the main things I keep hearing about from parents is how unique the love will be for my child…how I’ve “never experienced anything” until I’ve experienced that. I’m sure those of you who are parents can agree. I feel like I’ve already felt a smidgen of that love just by playing such a critical role of taking care of the forming human inside me! I am very much looking forward to this change in my life.
With all that said, this short journey (thus far) has conjured up some different thoughts on pornography that I’ve never had before. But first, let me ask, those of you who are parents: what type of thoughts did you have when your significant other was pregnant, or even as the baby was born and has grown – concerning how you would teach them about sexual topics? Okay, I know that was a loaded question. I’m just wondering….did you give it any thought at all? If you look at porn, did you think about how you would talk to your son or daughter about what porn is? Did you wonder what age you would bring sexual topics up? Did you hope that conversation would ever have to happen at all? Did you depend on the mother to take care of all of that?
The reason I ask…is because I’m not positive many parents do think of such things. Sure, maybe they’re aware that the ‘birds and the bees’ talk will have to happen ‘sooner or later’. But I’m wondering how serious parents truly take it. This world and the children in this world are probably affected by sex other than anything else! And, I do not believe that’s an understatement. With such a powerful topic at hand, I would think…or at least hope, that parents would take things very, very seriously concerning their children and sex.
Parents can’t control everything. Children can make so many decisions just in that area of what parents can’t control – why shouldn’t parents monopolize on what they can control? I’m not talking about being over protective. I’m just talking about a very practical and planned action to take hold of a small part of the massive influence on our children, which is sex (and all that includes). I don’t think parents are careless. I just think some are ignorant.
So, have you as a parent been proactive about educating your child(ren) about sexual topics? Have you regretted how you went about doing it? What would you have changed?
7 comments:
well i'm not a parent, but i do have much younger brother who is just starting to be old enough to notice the changes that are happening to him, since my dad isn't mentally able to have "the talk" and i KNOW that my brother wouldn't ever want to have it with his our mom, i took it upon myself to give him a fairly brief over view of why these things were happening and that he should feel free to ask myself or our dad anything about this topic without embarrassment, i told him that it'd be best if he ask us rather then try and figure things out himself. i think i did a pretty good job of informing him without over informing while at the same time leaving the conversation open to later discussion and clarification once he's more interested.
I say as soon as children are able to ask questions is good time to start covering all sorts of subjects...even pornography or sex or any other subject!
Kids are smart and understand a lot more than we give them credit.
I think it is all about being truthful to our children and about explaining what is right and normal so that they don't feel awkward when the subject is brought up by someone else who may be misinformed or may try to misguide our children!
I believe if my family was more open about sex and the human body and what love is really about ....I could have avoided many paths that I went searching for answers and got a lot of weird and bad responses back.
Heck if we are honest about the whole subject ....our children may even teach us a few things...as I am learning with the youth ministry!!!
Also I think the "talk" should come from both the mother and the father! The unique differences of gender and how a man views things versus how a woman views the same situation can really enlighten a child's mind to see everything clearly!
Hope this helps! God Bless and congratulations again about becoming a mommy!!!
Justine, I think you are going to be a great mom and have a wonderful testimony of God's unconditional love and how you were able to experience it all! I agree with looking for faith about the readiness of kids and curiousity. God will speak to your heart when it's time and both of you will know when to make that experience a wonderful one that your child will never forget. Believe me, whatever kind of talk you have will always be remembered. LOL!~
Justine,
Congrats on becoming a Mom. Your journey is truly inspiring, and I wish you the best. Damien couldn't have a more beautiful and courageous wife/mother of his child.
You deserve the best.
God bless Justine!
BF
Jabger and Looking for Faith,
Thank you for sharing your experiences. I think you both hit on the most important aspect and that's 'openness' and 'honesty'. As one of you mentioned, you might have chosen some difference paths had your parents been more proactive in talking about sexual topics. Myself included!
Thank you everyone for the encouraging words and congratulations :)
Congratulations on your pregnancy! I enjoy your blog and think you have a unique and honest perspective on some topics that are unfortunately considered controversial. When I started the sixth grade, my parents asked me to read a book called Preparing for Adolescents by Dr. James A. Dobson. It left me with some questions, but it was a way to introduce me to sexuality from a Christian perspective. If you ever have any concerns about addressing that subject with your child, I would recommend that book.
congratulations Justine! A child is such a blessing! Enjoy every moment of it.
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