Okay, okay, okay, okay, O-KAY!

Hold the phone! Let's all just calm down....

A few things...I hope everyone is doing fantastic. Spring has hit me like a tons of bricks and I love spring because for some reason, I always get a lot done (who knows, maybe it's the 'spring cleaning' mentality) but in the same breath, it always seems like there more to DO! While I was in an extremely painful stretch at Yoga on Saturday, my instructor simply said, "As much as your body stresses in every day life, your mind doesn't need to attach to those things." I've been trying to keep that in mind. So, I hope with everything going on, you all can find some sort of peace during your week either alone or with you family. Take that breath :)

So, I'm taking another breath...wondering if I should hold it...but, that wouldn't be very constructive, so I might as well write it out. In response to the comments under the post "I Told you So", I'd like to say some things.

First off...thank you to all who commented for taking the time to write your thoughts. I'd like to preface what I'm about to say by stating something.

I'm not going to sit here and defend myself.

For a few reasons, really...... 1. I am convinced it doesn't matter what I say - anyone who is decided in their ways and unwilling to investigate further isn't going to change their opinion based on my words or actions; everything would be assumed to have an ulterior motive on my part.
2. Based on my personal beliefs, the only person I really have to answer to is Jesus. He's already been ahead of all of you, putting my faults and consequences in my face, asking me how I will deal with them. He's the only one who can truly see what you're all trying to determine. He's my defender. I don't owe anyone an explanation besides Him.
Now....in the same breath....I am willing to explain things - given the fact that it can be constructive in nature and that there is hope on the other end.

So - mostly because I see there are some very obvious questions to answer, I shall do just that.

To the anonymous poster to knows me......I don't honestly have the slightest clue who you are. So, I'll do my best.
You said I hurt you. And although you said you're over it, I don't believe you've ever told me in person that I hurt you - so I would like to humbly apologize for the tornado I put into your life. I am 100% responsible for my own actions and I did countless amounts of things that were wrong, and I give you no excuses. My words and actions can't wipe the things I've done clean - I ask for your forgiveness and willingness to have an open heart.

Now if I may respond to your comment-
You said some things that concern me deeply. You must be somewhat close to the family, if not a part of the family, and yet there are so many things you do not know. I would much rather say these things personally...on a phone call or over coffee - even an e-mail. So, please, please call me. You obviously have resources to my number.
You've mentioned times we've been together during the past year, where I've lied. This is when I'm completely perplexed. Damien and I have no reasons to lie anymore. Anyone who has genuinely talked to us about what we're doing in life has gotten the complete truth. We can't afford to keep lying. Everything is on the table and for that, I am grateful. If you would only give me the opportunity, I'd love to be able to tell you the visions I have for this ministry, as well as what's taking place in the community. I purposely don't mention everything on this blog. This blog is meant for a very specific thing.

I believe something is being misinterpreted. I am aware of the consequences of this blog. They have all been weighed very heavily. Agree or disagree, it's been decided that the weight of the good this blog can bring outweighs the bad, which would include possibly missing out on corporate opportunities, Dawson fans following, etc. I am aware of the reality. One of the topics I post on this blog is how my past 'public' decisions have affected my current and future life as well as how the blog itself, my ministry itself, is affecting my future life. Posts like "I Told You So" are not meant to gain sympathy or say life is unfair - it's so that young women and men (such as those who have contacted me) will think twice about taking their clothes off - so that someone struggling with attraction towards another person or is having an affair might stop and think how it will affect their future - or so people know what they're possibly contributing towards when they are consumers of the adult industry.


I don't ever mean to point fingers. Please take this analogy that I actually heard from someone today....
We might have an idea what war looks like either from news stories, tv shows, mostly movies. And let's say we're talking to a soldier and we're telling him what we know of war. And in a matter of fact, kind expression, he states, "Man...you've never seen war."

That soldier has heard war. He's heard what actual bombs and guns sound like in combat. He's seen people being killed, machinery being operated, lives being sacrificed. He's smelled gun smoke, dead bodies, the dirt misting above the ground.

Please don't think I'm being proud by saying this. But I believe it was I who committed adultery and took a married man away from his family. I believe it was I who decided to do a nude website. And it's me who has had to face those consequences and has had to learn the lessons. I'm not sayin' I know everything and I'm not sayin' I'm perfect. But I am saying I'm not who I was and I believe it's I who has experienced countless amounts of interactions with people choosing to do better simply because they thought twice.

Those people, friend....those people are important to me. You said I should do something for those that really matter. Well - those people matter. Their well being matters and their families matter. This doesn't mean I don't think our family matters. I have our family, my husband's kids, and our future kids best interest at heart. Believe me, if I felt this passion burning deep inside could be fulfilled by keeping my realizations 'within the family', I sure would.
But let's be real. Most members on both sides of our family don't want to hear what we have to say.

Please don't forget that there's a truth you can't ignore. Damien and I have been wrong. We have majorly screwed up. What that means is we have been forced to see what we've done wrong. And have been forced to then choose, once we've seen that wrong, how we will change our attitude or frame of mind or decision path or whatever it is. We're not doing this alone. With the amount of people we've had to reach out to for guidance and the amount of people that have criticized us, I am truly able to say I am confident where we're moving towards is more positive than it is detrimental.
Now, you may not like it. And we will definitely make mistakes on the way (such as, 'maybe I shouldn't have posted that, or maybe I should have done this differently'). But either way, we have decided.


Another anonymous poster commented asking, "How would they know (people reading my blog) if they didn't know the Dawson Miller story?"

If anything, I am saying this to give a little more insight to my story. When me and Damien's relationship was 'realized' by people in the community, my peers decided to post the story online through various gossip journals. There were also news stories online as well as T.V.
With this publicity alone, I had people from as far as the UK contacting me saying they heard of my story. The online content from that experience alone would have been enough to deter my reputation in corporate America had people looked into my name. Some readers are following simply because they've heard my story.


To the other commentors, thank you for your encouragement. Your stories of change inspire me and I thank you for sharing. Derek - thank you especially for the time you put into writing your comments. Your belief in this mission is humbling and I am so thankful for your wisdom.

Are You Gonna Eat That?

Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese:
740 Calories
42 Total Fat (g)
19 Saturated Fat (g)
2.5 Trans Fat (g)
1380 Sodium (g)

What’s that? You’d like to add a large fry? Ok…

500 Calories
25 Total Fat (g)
3.5 Saturated Fat (g)
350 Sodium (g)

Now- I’m not knockin’ Mickey D’s! I know they have snack wraps for only 10-15 grahams of fat or salads for only 20! (if you can’t hear me, my sarcasm is oozing)
And, as always, it’s the individuals choice what they put into their body.
………………or is it?

Obesity is growing exponentially in American not just in adults, but in children as well. Who’s fault is that? The child’s? Parents? Advertising? How could a kid know if the sandwich they’re eating has 20 grahams of fat in it and even if they did, do they understand what that means?

Porn is very similar to the epidemic of obesity. Take this article for example. A man…being charged with putting harm in his daughters way by making them watch pornography. The kicker? As the law stands now, that’s okay for educational reasons. He is lawfully allowed to expose harmful, indecent acts to his children because he can choose how to educate them about sex much like how he can choose to feed them Double Quarter Pounders with Cheese.

Now, let’s be real. McDonalds food can be soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo delicious!!!!! There is something about a processed piece of meat with the right bun and sauces that is tempting! And – it’s honestly very easy to justify eating. I’ve seen people purposely look at the calorie intake of something before ever taking a bite because if they visually saw the damage that was about to take place, it would be easier for them to not be tempted by it.

So, people, hear me out. I’m not going to judge you if you eat McDonalds or even if you look at porn. But you need to educate yourself on what you’re putting into your body. You can rationalize all you want saying, “C’mon it’s just a burger! Every once in a while won’t hurt you!” Or, “In moderation, porn is fine! For the addict, it’s not okay, but for me, I don’t have a problem with it so every once in awhile it’s just a release/enjoyment I need.”

Fine.

But do your mind a favor and look into what you’re exposing it to. I’m not going to say the man in the article is addicted to porn. I’m not even going to say he has a mental problem. But I will say that porn has affected his mind. It’s affected it enough that he sees absolutely no problem with showing the material to his pre pubescent girls. I don’t know, does that seem a little odd to you?

Don’t think for one second pornography couldn’t do that to you. You won’t know until it happens. Is it really worth finding out?

With Mickey D’s, the outcome is known. It’s bad for you. If you eat it, it’s your choice. But nonetheless, it’s bad for you. And as Morgan Spurlock confirmed, if you eat it enough, you will get fat and increase your chance of dying. MMM! Sounds scrumdiliumptious!

Your homework – Google "the damaging effects of pornography". I won’t even give you my ‘biased’ resources to check out. If you’re going to stand up for something, know what it is.