Several months after I had my son, I said I wasn't sure how often I'd post. I think I was secretly hoping that I'd post a little more often than I have. It's been quite a year. All of the cliche sayings about having a baby are totally true:
"Cherish every moment because the first year flies."
"Before you know it, he'll be one."
"It's the most amazing thing you'll ever experience."
My son turns one on Valentine's Day. :) He already upholds his birth day. He's a little lover and has been my family's own Cupid; aiding in the reconciliation of many relationships. Having him in my life has already taught me so much - and has changed my perspective about so many things. It's possible, but I'd say pretty darn hard to be completely selfish with a child. Everything, and I mean e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g is seen under microscopes and through binoculars to make sure your child's current situation and future is his their best interest. I can already tell it's going to be so, so hard to watch him make mistakes and eventually become 100% independent of me. But at the same time, his accomplishments and adventures in life are going to be some of my greatest moments on this Earth.
Right now, I'm contemplating a few different directions I want to take with my life since my son's first birthday is fast approaching. I have a feeling this year is going to be very adventurous for myself.
So, no, I'm not going to say anything about porn. No life lessons to be learned today. Just an update to let you know I'm here and I want to be here, posting I mean. I plan to continue to post. A goal for this year is to post (however frequent or infrequent) without worry and without fear. God once again showed me recently that He didn't allow me to have a past to be shoved in a closet. He wants it shared. NOT for me. NOT because I have some guilt complex. (which seems totally backwards to me anyway...if I really had a guilt complex, would I be posting about topics related to my worst mistakes just so I could get the inevitable comments that are horrible, hurtful, and rude?) Anyway...................................................No, I will continue to be here and continue to post. And possibly do other things. Because I should. Because other people, as few as there may be, should hear something that could possibly affect their lives in a positive way.
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8 comments:
Yes, it is true. Cherish every moment of a child. I watch tapes of my girls laughing, singing, playing and not having a clue of what's to come. They're 21 and 20 (45 weeks apart but we won't go there! LOL) and learning the ropes of life. It really tears your heart out to watch the mistakes and hear the words of my own parents in my head. Praying for ya often.
It is good to not throw the past in the closet, because the lessons we learned there are attatched to it. As long as you live in the present (which you are clearly doing by the lack of post) then it is good to be mindful of the past and use it's lessons to plan your future.
So glad to see you writing again dear friend. May God continue to bless you, your family, your marriage, and your ministry.
Warmest Regards,
-dc-
Thank y'all very much fer the post! Y'all are a Human being and I love yer posts very much.
When I found your website, I do not know what I wanted to find. The truth be told I just wanted honesty. I do not care what you post, I am just interested in your opinion. Porn or not porn. My life is a search for truth. Even today I met someone for whom I could care, but do I care for her, or do care for a version of her for whom I have found on the internet.The truth be told, it is honesty that we search for. Porn is a release to a reality that we seek, but reality that we seek is not true. The problem is honesty and reality is no more, we think that what we say is truth without believing it ourselves. Do we have the courage to be true, or do we hide behind a past of which was never really true, or a future of which we hope to be true.
Yes, I am glad you have posted because I do believe you have something to say. I do not believe people are interested in your past, but the ones who are have led the them here, so they may as well learn something. The truth be told porn led me here but the story has led me to look at my life. The fact that you share your life, allows me to view mine in a perspective I have never understood. I came to this through porn, but I have Discovered that I am not alone in my thoughts about life. Your past is only a door to your future and I do not think i have to quote the "Doors" to you. The fact you have given voice to your feeliings is only a strength for which you should be proud. As a prophet, you do not need to be heard by thousands, but if you change the view of a few, then your voice may be heard by many. Life is a search, and life's dreamers need you. Do not give up because you think no one listens, for if there is one, then it is worth while to speak.
Justine,
I've been following your story since the summer it all went crazy and it's been absolutely amazing to see you hit your rock bottom and climb back up. It's almost like I've been watching you grow up (geez that sounds creepy) and you've become a pretty awesome person in the last seven or so years. Keep it up, learning and growing up is even more fun with a kiddo by your side :)
Glad you are still posting. Sounds like all is well with you and yours. Congratulations Justine.
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