So, back to the addiction we assume you have. Close your eyes. Okay, wait- read this first, and THEN close your eyes. You've come to a place in your addiction where you feel confident you can 'beat' this. You can live in more of a 'good state' than an awful one. In fact, you've been pretty successful for quite some time now. But every time you relapse (because it happens, people) - not only do those closest to you find out, but a pretty large chunk of the world finds out too. Okay - you just relapsed and your loved ones know plus everyone is talking about it on the news and Internet - close you eyes and imagine it. I'll wait.
What did your thought make you feel like? Mine sorta made me feel like I got punched in the gut. Can't breathe. Don't really want to. Awful. Just...freaking...awful....how could I be so stupid? Shame. Completely and utter shame. Embarrassed. Not for me...for my life...for my kids, my spouse, my friends. I'm sorry. I don't know how I let this happen. I'm sorry...................
Josh Hamilton not only has to face his wife and teammates when he relapses, but then has to talk about it at a press conference with tons of reporters and thousands of pictures being taken. I couldn't imagine having to do that. I feel like my pride would so easily get defensive and who knows if Hamilton has similar feelings. "Who are all these people that I 'owe' an explanation to?" But Hamilton so graciously gives it - one could only imagine how humbling that experience truly is.
Most of us have a hard enough time facing our spouses when we mess up (if we even tell our spouses). I'd like to share this quote that I believe is anonymous:
Vow to make good choices. When and if you relapse- be honest and upfront. Then vow again.
